We approaching the half way mark for the year on July 1st (182nd day of the year). A lot has happen so far and there a some things I wanted to happen, but didn’t. On the flip-side, there are things that happened that I didn’t expect!
As I’m writing this, it is the day after Summer solstice, the day after the International Day of Purpose. I’m mentioning this day because I really needed this day. On Tuesday, I was feeling lost, disappointed and just sad. I had a nice little cry. My career is not at all where I hoped and that is the story of many millennials and people in general. I have been see-sawing between feeling happy, content and feeling overwhelmed… two opposites. There hasn’t been much in-between. And with that analogy makes some sense, I’m not feeling balanced. I’m not consistent in my moods, which okay until it gets out of hand.
Leading up to this day, I figured everything was going fine. Life is life, I have no complaints. I’m alive, I’m healthy, I have a roof over my head, I have my immediate family that I love and they love me back. I lost sight in my day-to-day routines of what is important. Included in my day-to-day is me refreshing my AutoCad skills, working on my portfolio, going to work, being a mom, fiance, and daughter. There’s a few things missing from that essentially. I’m not social like I once was. I’m not sketching or drawing like I used to. I have goals in mind that I don’t always refer back to and I need to. I become overwhelmed because the path I took doesn’t seem right. Its time to reflect on what I have done so far, take the details into consideration and re-route to move forward, and remember to recharge as I go and repeat, if/ when necessary.
It seems a lot of people reach this kind of stage at 25, 26 years old. Some call this “quarter-life crisis”. I’m not sure what to call it. I do know it is helpful to feel these feelings and with a clear mind plan my next moves. Also, its so important to monitor you emotions in self-care mode. If you are like me, I’m mostly calm and friendly, but the harsh reality is when I’m mad, I’m MAD, its not pretty. So, I try not to get to that stage. When I catch myself going that way, I back away… slowly. But, when I’m sad, its different, somehow. I have to be really aware of myself before I get sad.
All of this said, I read through the #OnPurpose packet and I think I’ve got a good plan in mind. I’m going to go back to journaling once a day. I’m going to be present and attentive at home, not just in my own space after work. I’m going to be more social. I don’t have anyone local that I can hang out with… well, I do, but I have to work on that relationship. If I want to do an activity and no one wants to come with me, I’m going anyway. I shouldn’t have to miss out because I don’t want to go alone. I might be able to make some friends this way. I’m going to live. I’m going to find my purpose.
I can honestly say designing, creating, is my purpose. I’m meant to do these things. I’m meant to express myself creatively through any medium whether it be designing a space, painting on a canvas or in a notebook, working in Photoshop and/or Illustrator or drawing out my ideas on a piece of paper. I want to inspire on purpose. I want to design and create on purpose. I want to shine on purpose. I want to live on purpose. And I will.