We approaching the half way mark for the year on July 1st (182nd day of the year). A lot has happen so far and there a some things I wanted to happen, but didn’t. On the flip-side, there are things that happened that I didn’t expect!
As I’m writing this, it is the day after Summer solstice, the day after the International Day of Purpose. I’m mentioning this day because I really needed this day. On Tuesday, I was feeling lost, disappointed and just sad. I had a nice little cry. My career is not at all where I hoped and that is the story of many millennials and people in general. I have been see-sawing between feeling happy, content and feeling overwhelmed… two opposites. There hasn’t been much in-between. And with that analogy makes some sense, I’m not feeling balanced. I’m not consistent in my moods, which is okay until it gets out of hand.
Leading up to this day, I figured everything was going fine. Life is life, I have no complaints. I’m alive, I’m healthy, I have a roof over my head, I have my immediate family that I love and they love me back. I lost sight in my day-to-day routines of what is important. Included in my day-to-day is me refreshing my AutoCad skills, working on my portfolio, going to work, being a mom, fiance, and daughter. There’s a few things missing from that essentially. I’m not social like I once was. I’m not sketching or drawing like I used to. I have goals in mind that I don’t always refer back to and I need to. I become overwhelmed because the path I took doesn’t seem right. Its time to reflect on what I have done so far, take the details into consideration and re-route to move forward, and remember to recharge as I go and repeat, if/ when necessary.
It seems a lot of people reach this kind of stage at 25, 26 years old. Some call this “quarter-life crisis”. I’m not sure what to call it. I do know it is helpful to feel these feelings and with a clear mind plan my next moves. Also, its so important to monitor you emotions in self-care mode. If you are like me, I’m mostly calm and friendly, but the harsh reality is when I’m mad, I’m MAD, its not pretty. So, I try not to get to that stage. When I catch myself going that way, I back away… slowly. But, when I’m sad, its different, somehow. I have to be really aware of myself before I get sad.
All of this said, I read through the #OnPurpose packet and I think I’ve got a good plan in mind. I’m going to go back to journaling once a day. I’m going to be present and attentive at home, not just in my own space after work. I’m going to be more social. I don’t have anyone local that I can hang out with… well, I do, but I have to work on that relationship. If I want to do an activity and no one wants to come with me, I’m going anyway. I shouldn’t have to miss out because I don’t want to go alone. I might be able to make some friends this way. I’m going to live. I’m going to find my purpose.
I can honestly say designing, creating, is my purpose. I’m meant to do these things. I’m meant to express myself creatively through any medium whether it be designing a space, painting on a canvas or in a notebook, working in Photoshop and/or Illustrator or drawing out my ideas on a piece of paper. I want to inspire on purpose. I want to design and create on purpose. I want to shine on purpose. I want to live on purpose. And I will.